Tag Archives: Faith

Christian Life, God's Character

When God Says No

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When God says NoMonths ago I started reading a book. For the life of me, I cannot remember the book or the author. But the author made a statement that has stuck with me ever since: It is easy to have faith when God says yes and everything happens the way you want it to, but it takes a deeper faith when God says no. The moment I read those words, I wanted that kind of faith.

I should know by now to be careful what I wish for. In order to develop a faith strong enough for God to say no, I have to let Him say no. And that’s not easy. In the last few months, I think that is about the only word I have heard from God: no. In big things, like selling our house, to little things, like finding Philip’s lost glasses. I have asked…and not received. After a while, it has weighed down on me and made me ask what is faith really?

I think we subconsciously view faith like this: if I have enough faith, God will do it. If I don’t, then it’s my own fault. And that has paralyzed me. I am a woman of little faith. Some people have the gift of faith. Not me. I have always been a logic, scientific kinda gal. I need to see it to believe it, figure it out, understand how it works, and then I will accept it. So because of my natural inclinations, does that mean I will see less of God’s blessings? Because I don’t have enough faith?

Then it hit me today: that kind of thinking is the same kind as hoping I am good enough for heaven. People who strive to be good enough for God always have a fear in the back of their mind, “Am I good enough?” Same with faith. “Do I have enough faith?” And when a loved one dies, or the bank takes the house, or you lose your job after praying hard on your knees, you can’t help but think you didn’t have enough faith, so God didn’t provide.

But in the end, doesn’t that place everything on ourselves? That we need to first have faith, then God will work?

Perhaps our view of faith is wrong. It is not about what God does, but who He is. Because if our faith is set on what He does, then we are going to be disappointed. But if our faith is set on who He is, then we will be confident no matter what happens because we know that He is in control. When He says no, we will not be shaken. We will  believe He has a reason for saying no, a reason we may not see or understand (after all, if we truly understood everything God did, then He wouldn’t be much of a god, would He?).

I still have a ways to go in developing this kind of faith, a faith placed squarely on God. But I want it. And I will continue to pursue it.

How about you? Has God told you no before? How did you react? Was it hard? Did your faith grow from the experience?

Christian Life

What is Faith?

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I have been thinking about the meaning of faith lately and came across an old post of mine. Here it is and I hope to follow up on more thoughts on the matter next week:

Here is a quote I came across a couple months ago: Faith is not believing God can, but that God will!

But what if He doesn’t?

I couldn’t help but look at those words and ask what about the people who have lost loved ones? Or parents who prayed and prayed for their child to live, but their child died anyway? Or the man who lost his job and eventually his home?

Did they not have enough faith? Did they not pray enough? Or is faith something more?

Last year I found my faith stretching beyond anything I had ever known. For the first time in my life, I believed God could do anything, not just with my head, but with my heart. That faith carried me through some of the darkest moments of my life… until nothing happened.

God didn’t come through.

I couldn’t believe it. It was the biggest letdown ever. I had prayed, prostrated myself before God, and thought for sure that God was behind us. But He didn’t show up.

I felt alone and devastated. Was my little kernel of faith just not big enough? Mentally and emotionally I felt like I was being sucked down into a vortex of darkness. Could I trust God anymore? And what is faith really?

It was the story of three men that made me start to think there is more to faith than just believing God will do something. The men’s names were Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. Most people know them by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were three young men taken captive by King Nebuchadnezzar and sent off to Babylon where they served him.

In Daniel chapter 3, Nebuchadnezzar creates a statue of gold and commands his people to bow and worship it when the music starts to play. The music plays, and everyone bows… except for those 3 men.

They are brought before Nebuchadnezzar. He tells them he will give them a second chance. But if they fail to obey and bow down, he will throw them into the blazing furnace. “And then what god will be able to rescue you from my power?” (Daniel 3:15)

Here is their response: ”O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty.

But even if He doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18).

Did you catch that? These men knew God could save them. They had faith. But their faith wasn’t based on what God would do; it was based on God Himself. That is why they could say even if He doesn’t. Even if God did not save them, they would still follow Him and not bow down. They completely put their faith in God to do whatever God was going to do, even if God’s plan did not include saving them.

Wow.

Do I put my faith only in what God is going to do? Or simply in God Himself? Do I trust God so much that I place myself in His Hands and know that no matter how dark the outcome, He has a reason for it?

That is a different kind of faith than the quote up above. A faith that has allowed Christians in the past to face torture and death. One that allows me now to see beyond my current circumstances. A faith in God alone, not in just the outcome we want from Him.

Christian Life, God's Character

What is Faith?

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Here is a quote I came across a couple months ago: Faith is not believing God can, but that God will!

But what if He doesn’t?

I couldn’t help but look at those words and ask what about the people who have lost loved ones? Or parents who prayed and prayed for their child to live, but their child died anyway? Or the man who lost his job and eventually his home?

Did they not have enough faith? Did they not pray enough? Or is faith something more?

Last year I found my faith stretching beyond anything I had ever known. For the first time in my life, I believed God could do anything, not just with my head, but with my heart. That faith carried me through some of the darkest moments of my life… until nothing happened.

God didn’t come through.

I couldn’t believe it. It was the biggest letdown ever. I had prayed, prostrated myself before God, and thought for sure that God was behind us. But He didn’t show up.

I felt alone and devastated. Was my little kernel of faith just not big enough? Mentally and emotionally I felt like I was being sucked down into a vortex of darkness. Could I trust God anymore? And what is faith really?

It was the story of three men that made me start to think there is more to faith than just believing God will do something. The men’s names were Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. Most people know them by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were three young men taken captive by King Nebuchadnezzar and sent off to Babylon where they served him.

In Daniel chapter 3, Nebuchadnezzar creates a statue of gold and commands his people to bow and worship it when the music starts to play. The music plays, and everyone bows… except for those 3 men.

They are brought before Nebuchadnezzar. He tells them he will give them a second chance. But if they fail to obey and bow down, he will throw them into the blazing furnace. “And then what god will be able to rescue you from my power?” (Daniel 3:15)

Here is their response: ”O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty.

But even if He doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18).

Did you catch that? These men knew God could save them. They had faith. But their faith wasn’t based on what God would do; it was based on God Himself. That is why they could say even if He doesn’t. Even if God did not save them, they would still follow Him and not bow down. They completely put their faith in God to do whatever God was going to do, even if God’s plan did not include saving them.

Wow.

Do I put my faith only in what God is going to do? Or simply in God Himself? Do I trust God so much that I place myself in His Hands and know that no matter how dark the outcome, He has a reason for it?

That is a different kind of faith than the quote up above. A faith that has allowed Christians in the past to face torture and death. One that allows me now to see beyond my current circumstances. A faith in God alone, not in just the outcome we want from Him.

Christian Life, God's Character

Walking on Water

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The Christian life is like walking on water. We see Jesus and He beckons us to come out and join Him in faith. So we do. We get out of the boat and low and behold, we are walking on water! Amazing!

But then the waves of life start to pick up. They climb higher and higher as the sky grows dark and the wind whips the water into a frenzy. Suddenly Jesus looks small compared to the things we fear in life:

I just got my paycheck and its not going to cover the bills this month.

My husband said he met someone else and no longer loves me.

Its cancer and I only have 3 months to live.

The medical bills are more than I make.

My teen daughter is pregnant.

No one will hire me.

Fear grips us. All we can see is the waves, each one threatening to crash over us. Jesus, where are you? We cry. All we can see is the storm. And we begin to sink.

I’ve felt that panicky, drowning feeling lately. I’m looking for Jesus, and I know He’s there, but right now, my life feels like a hurricane. I’m having a hard time setting my eyes on the small image of Jesus walking towards me on the water.

Faith is easy when the waters are calm. But when lightning flashes and the wind howls and the waves of life are higher than my head, faith for me is very, very hard. And when I feel like I’m facing the waves alone, they can overwhelm me.

But I am so thankful that Jesus doesn’t leave us there to drown, even when we have very little faith. Like Peter, we cry out. And Jesus comes. Does the storm stop? The storm didn’t stop when Jesus reached out to Peter. And many times the storms in our lives don’t stop when Jesus reaches for us.

Instead, we find a firm hand pulling us up and a face to look upon rather than the storm. And in my case, a reminder not to have so little faith because even the winds and waves -and life- obey the one who can save me.

 

God's Character, Personal

Jesus Wept

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If you have been a Christian for any amount of time, you are told that all things work for good and God’s glory. The suffering that comes into your life will make you a better person. Just give it to God, you’re told.

Then you find yourself hit by life. The pain is far beyond what you thought it would be: it goes right to the core of your heart. And suddenly those platitudes you have heard uttered by Christians give no comfort whatsoever. You see no good in what you are going through. And you see God as a stoic being, moving around the pieces of life like a chessboard. You are only a piece to be moved around so God receives the glory.

I felt like this a couple weeks ago. I knew all things work together for good. I knew that my life is not my own, but for God to use for His glory. But I felt like God didn’t feel for me. That God was up above, moving around my life with a look of disinterest. I was only a means to an end. And my suffering meant very little in the grand scheme of things.

Then I read began reading the book of John. And God showed me a picture of himself. Yes, He is orchestrating all of our lives for good and yes, He does all of this for His glory (for when God receives glory, we bask in the warmth). But He is not looking down on us with a stoic expression. He is moved by our hurt.

Sometimes He weeps.

As a child, it was a contest to see who knew the shortest verse in the Bible. And in case you don’t know, it is “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35). But I never understood the full power of that verse until a couple weeks ago. As I read John 11, I felt moved by the story of Martha and Mary and their brother Lazerus.

Lazerus is deathly sick. So his sisters send word to Jesus. They know Jesus can heal their brother. They have seen His power and miracles. But Jesus never comes. And so Lazerus dies. Can you feel their shock, their feelings of betrayal? Why did Jesus heal so many others, but he never came to help them, His friends? They bury Lazerus, probably along with their hope.

Now let’s look at Jesus’ point of view. Jesus receives word that Lazerus is deathly ill. But He has a plan: a plan for good and God’s glory. So Jesus waits. And waits. Until Lazerus dies. Then he tells his disciples they must head back to Judea so he can awaken Lazerus.

However, you do not see an unemotional Jesus in this chapter. Look how He responds when he sees Mary and the others who are grieving with her: “When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled.” (John 11:33). The grieving he saw moved Jesus.

They head out to the tomb. And at this point Jesus weeps. He sees the grief and hurt of the people around him. My friends, God sees the hurt and grief of us too. He is not callous to our battered hearts and lives. Even while God is using us for good and for His glory, I believe He is also weeping with us. We have a God who has also suffered. “Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested.” (Hebrews 2:18).

Jesus wept. What a powerful verse. Those two simple words opened my eyes. I no longer see God as a stoic being above me, moving around the pieces of my life with a calloused hand. Instead I see a God who weeps with me.

*On that note, I want to ask for prayer for a young family I know who is facing a very dark period in their lives. The father has been diagnosed with a strange kind of cancer. I have known this family for years and they have been a rich blessing to both Dan and me. They have two young children (about the age of my own). I know God can heal him. But I also know God might have other plans. I ask anyone reading this to pray for strength as they face the next couple weeks, months, even years. I pray that their hearts will find peace and love during this turbulent time. And I pray that they will know that they are loved and prayed for by many. Amen.

Personal

Prayer Request

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I wasn’t planning on blogging today since I will be participating in the http://www.hoosierink.blogspot.com tomorrow and blogging about a book review on Monday. However, life happens and so I am using today’s post to ask anyone who comes to my blog to pray for Dan, myself, and my family.

In Darkness there is Light. For a year now that has been the tagline for both my writing and my life. Well, I’m living it out again. The darkness in my life feels overwhelming.

So I am asking for prayer that Dan and I will find jobs very soon. I also ask for prayer for a potential ministry opportunity God might be directing us towards. And I ask for prayer for our spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. We both feel very battered right now.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us the assurance about things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1 NLT

Christian Life

No Faith, Know Faith Part 3

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Faith? Know Faith? No Faith? How do you grow that seed of faith inside of you? The moment I realized I had no faith was a turning point in my relationship with God.  It was the first time I was honest-truly honest, with both God and myself. Honesty in a relationship creates a healthier relationship, as long as the problems brought up are dealt with. The same goes with our relationship with God.

God is big enough to handle our tears, our questions of why, and anger. But we can’t stop there. I know too many Christians who stay in their anger with God. You have to move on. You have to work through those emotions. And through that work, our faith grows.

How do you work out your faith? How do you work through the crisis that brought you to the point that you realize you have no faith?

I have learned I need to first read the Bible. Yep, that age old admonition. There came a crisis in my own life where my family was deeply hurt by a pastor in the church. When confronted and the elders told of this man’s actions, nothing was done about it. I was so mad and asked God why he let this wicked man stay in his position while my family paid heavily for the consequences of his sinful actions.

I started reading the book of Psalms and found David could put into words what I was thinking. David asked the same things I was…why do wicked men prosper and where was God in that. I found comfort knowing I wasn’t the only one who had ever felt this way. I also knew (from reading God’s Word) I needed to give up my anger and let God (in his time) deal with this man. To my knowledge, nothing has ever happened as far as consequences, but I do know that someday he will stand before God for what he did. And if I had held onto my bitterness, I would have also had to stand before God.

But it doesn’t stop with reading your Bible! Reading helps you know what God says, but your faith won’t grow much if you don’t obey what you read. I knew that if I held onto my anger, it would poison me. Was it easy? NO WAY! I struggled daily, sometimes hourly begging God to help me not to hate that man. And you know what? It eventually became easier until the day came when the hurt faded into faint thin emotional scar. I realized I could trust God when he says not to let bitterness dwell in your heart. He was right. And my faith grew.

Lastly, faith is taking a step. It’s a step no one can take for you but yourself. Let me say that again. It’s a step no one can take for you but yourself. It’s making the choice to believe what God says and then do it. Every time the doubts come up, you pray. You plead with God to help you stand firm. You read in the Bible and begin to see how much God cares about you and has a plan that you will never fully see until you reach heaven. But you know that your part is important and you trust that what God throws at you, it’s for a reason.

“For we live by believing and not by seeing.” 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NLT)

Christian Life

No Faith, Know Faith Part 2

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I shared a couple weeks ago the moment I realized I had no faith.  Later that day I had someone email me and say they were struggling with their faith and asked for advice. What do you do if you find yourself in crisis mode and suddenly realize the faith you thought you had doesn’t exist?

First, I want to make a distinct between “Saving Faith” and the faith I talked about not having a couple weeks ago. Can you truly lose your faith? No. You are saved forever. That faith you had the moment you believed in God’s gift of salvation is there permanently. It’s like a little seed inside you. But that seed has to grow. And you may find in your moment of crisis that your seed of faith is so small it seems nonexistent. That’s one reason trials come into our lives, to grow that seed, to stretch those faith muscles and make them strong, to help us see that God is real and that he can be trusted.

So how do you rediscover (or grow) your faith when you find you have none? The first thing I’ve come to realize about faith is it’s not a light switch. You can’t just flip the switch and tada you have faith (at least I’ve never been able to do that lol). It’s a learning process that starts by making the small choices to trust God.

Secondly, I believe God is big enough to handle our questions. I’m one of those people that needs to know why I believe what I believe. I remember one time wrestling with prayer. If someone wasn’t healed, was it because that was God’s will, did my prayer not “take,” or was prayer just a fluke? (yeah, that’s the question I really had a hard time with for many months).

But even as I wrestled with that prayer issue and if God even heard us, there was something deep inside of me that could not let go of God. He was there, like an anchor inside my soul while up above on the surface I wrestled with the storms in my life. I can’t explain it; I just knew somewhere deep inside of me that God was there. I just needed to work out this issue of my faith.

So how do you work out your faith? What journey did God take me on to grow my own faith?  I’ll share my experience next week.

Christian Life

No Faith, Know Faith

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I remember the day when I realized I had no faith in God. We had just moved to Portland a couple weeks earlier and found out we were pregnant. Prior to this pregnancy I had gone through a devastating miscarriage and was still feeling the repercussions from it. I feared I would lose this baby too.

We had no medical insurance and were in the midst of trying to find some. Unfortunately, my status as expecting mother made me an existing condition so no one would take us. I finally went to see a doctor as the second trimester approached just to make sure everything was all right. That’s when we received the big news: you’re having twins!

Now we needed medical insurance more than ever. I knew a twin pregnancy would not be normal. Finally we found someone who could help us out. Then the bomb dropped. We had to get the paperwork in that day in order to get the insurance because our 60 days was about to elapse (for those who have never had to fill out the paperwork for private insurance, they can make doing taxes look easy lol). Of course, we found that out only a couple hours before the deadline.

With Dan busy with his new job and me trying to move into our new house, juggle two toddlers and deal with twin size morning sickness, I felt something snap inside of me. We weren’t going to make the deadline.

Suddenly I saw our future loom in front of us, full of medical bills we couldn’t possibly pay. And in that moment I realized something else: I didn’t believe God would come through for me. I stood there, staring at the wall and felt the truth of that thought shake me to my core. I had no faith in God.

If you had asked me before that moment, I would have said of course I have faith in God. But now I realize that for years I had worked under the subconscious impression that everything happened because of hard work with a little luck thrown in. I had always been able to take care of myself.

But this insurance situation was way out of my hands. I could not work hard enough. Actually, I couldn’t work at all, not with two little ones needing me at home and two more on the way.

I felt deep shame when I realized I had no faith. What kind of Christian was I? Little did I know that moment was the beginning of God tearing away all my securities until all I had left was Him.

God did come through for us. The paperwork made it in minutes before the deadline. And as a cherry on top, we had a pretty uneventful twin pregnancy. But God wasn’t done yet. My faith muscles were weak. They needed to be trained. So a year later, Dan lost his job.

That story is for another day. But during that dark year, my faith muscles were worked out to the max. Everything I had put my security in to save me fell through. We had no home, no close friends, not even a church family. All I had was God. And He showed me he could be trusted. No, He didn’t come through in the way I thought he should. But he always came through.

My faith had grown enough that a year later when my son had to be life flighted to Portland, I had someone ask me how we were going to pay the medical bills. I didn’t even blink when I said God knew this was going to happen and has something planned to take care of those bills. And you know what? He did. Just not in the way I thought he would 😉

I don’t believe faith is the absence of fear but rather the belief in something greater than what you fear. I still fear things all the time. Trust me, I wish I could turn that emotion off. But then I look at God and I see something greater than what I fear.

Or perhaps I should say I feel God. After all, faith is like being blind. We can’t see what’s ahead of us or even around us. But in the dark I can feel God’s hand on my life and I can hear his voice. He won’t let me fall, not if I cling to him.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)