Tag Archives: Answers

Sometimes There are No Answers for Why Things Happen

I like answers. I want to know why something works, what happens when you do X, and how can I get the best outcome. I tend to get to the point, whether it has to do with work, solving a problem, or with relationships (about drove my husband mad with this early on). So when life doesn’t compute, I want answers.

Unfortunately, sometimes there are no answers for why things happen.

I struggled with this over the past year. Most of the time I can find an explanation on why God allows something to happen. You know, the usual answers: to grow us, to prepare us for a greater blessing, fill in the blank. But none of those answers seemed sufficient for the pain and tears shed over the last several months. I wanted to know why. I wanted a reason so I could close those doors, heal, and move on.

Did God let Dan lose his job because He has something better planned? Why did it feel God was leading us to church plant, to then not have it work out? Why do bad things happen to people who want to follow God?

I will admit this past year shook my faith to its very core. I could feel the darkness closing in on me. I cried out to God, but couldn’t seem to hear Him. I felt alone and spiritually cold.

Now some people will say you should never question God. I believe it’s better to be honest with God. David was honest with God in the Psalms. Jeremiah the prophet was honest with God. God knows my heart and can see the hurt and confusion already inside. Through honesty comes truth. And with truth comes answers.

A couple weeks ago, I had my answer: that sometimes there are no answers. I could feel in my heart that God had been patient with me, but it had come to the point that I needed to let go. I would not have the answers for why things happened the way they did this year. Why? Because God is God and I am me.

In that moment, I caught an awe and terrifying glimpse of God. I forget how much bigger, how much smarter, how much more God knows than I do. He is running this entire universe, watching over every life, creating divine intersections, moving things along on a scale that I can’t even comprehend. So when He says that all things work together for good (even if I can’t see it), He does and I need to trust that. And I need to let go.

I may have my answers someday, perhaps in heaven. But I have a feeling that by then I’m not going to care. Why? I’ll finally be in God’s presence and that will be all I need.

 

*I wrote this back in 2011 a couple months after Dan was abruptly let go from a church we were serving at. I still have no answer as to why it happened, but for those of you going through dark times, I can tell you healing does come when you let go of your need for answers and move on, your hand in God’s hand.

What is Faith?

I have been thinking about the meaning of faith lately and came across an old post of mine. Here it is and I hope to follow up on more thoughts on the matter next week:

Here is a quote I came across a couple months ago: Faith is not believing God can, but that God will!

But what if He doesn’t?

I couldn’t help but look at those words and ask what about the people who have lost loved ones? Or parents who prayed and prayed for their child to live, but their child died anyway? Or the man who lost his job and eventually his home?

Did they not have enough faith? Did they not pray enough? Or is faith something more?

Last year I found my faith stretching beyond anything I had ever known. For the first time in my life, I believed God could do anything, not just with my head, but with my heart. That faith carried me through some of the darkest moments of my life… until nothing happened.

God didn’t come through.

I couldn’t believe it. It was the biggest letdown ever. I had prayed, prostrated myself before God, and thought for sure that God was behind us. But He didn’t show up.

I felt alone and devastated. Was my little kernel of faith just not big enough? Mentally and emotionally I felt like I was being sucked down into a vortex of darkness. Could I trust God anymore? And what is faith really?

It was the story of three men that made me start to think there is more to faith than just believing God will do something. The men’s names were Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. Most people know them by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were three young men taken captive by King Nebuchadnezzar and sent off to Babylon where they served him.

In Daniel chapter 3, Nebuchadnezzar creates a statue of gold and commands his people to bow and worship it when the music starts to play. The music plays, and everyone bows… except for those 3 men.

They are brought before Nebuchadnezzar. He tells them he will give them a second chance. But if they fail to obey and bow down, he will throw them into the blazing furnace. “And then what god will be able to rescue you from my power?” (Daniel 3:15)

Here is their response: ”O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty.

But even if He doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18).

Did you catch that? These men knew God could save them. They had faith. But their faith wasn’t based on what God would do; it was based on God Himself. That is why they could say even if He doesn’t. Even if God did not save them, they would still follow Him and not bow down. They completely put their faith in God to do whatever God was going to do, even if God’s plan did not include saving them.

Wow.

Do I put my faith only in what God is going to do? Or simply in God Himself? Do I trust God so much that I place myself in His Hands and know that no matter how dark the outcome, He has a reason for it?

That is a different kind of faith than the quote up above. A faith that has allowed Christians in the past to face torture and death. One that allows me now to see beyond my current circumstances. A faith in God alone, not in just the outcome we want from Him.

Sometimes there are No Answers

I like answers. I want to know why something works, what happens when you do X, and how can I get the best outcome. I tend to get to the point, whether it has to do with work, solving a problem, or with relationships (about drove my husband mad with this early on :)). So when life doesn’t compute, I want answers.

Unfortunately, sometimes there are no answers to why things happen.

I struggled with this over the past year. Most of the time I can find an explanation on why God allows something to happen. You know, the usual answers: to grow us, to prepare us for a greater blessing, fill in the blank. But none of those answers seemed sufficient for the pain and tears shed over the last several months. I wanted to know why. I wanted a reason so I could close those doors, heal, and move on.

Did God let Dan lose his job because He has something better planned? Why did it feel God was leading us to church plant, to then not have it work out? Why do bad things happen to people who want to follow God’s plan?

I will admit this past year shook my faith down to its very core. I could feel the darkness closing in on me. I cried out to God, but couldn’t seem to hear Him. I felt alone and cold spiritually.

Now some people will say you should never question God. I believe its better to be honest with God. David was honest with God in the Psalms. Jeremiah the prophet was honest with God. God knows my heart and can see the hurt and confusion already inside. Through honesty comes truth. And with truth comes answers.

A couple weeks ago, I had my answer: that sometimes there are no answers. I could feel in my heart that God had been patient with me, but it had come to the point that I needed to let go; I would not have the answers to why things happened the way they did this year. Why? Because God is God and I am me.

In that moment, I caught an awe and terrifying glimpse of God. We, or at least I, forget how much bigger, how much smarter, how much more God knows than I do. He is running this entire universe, watching over lives, creating divine intersections, moving things along on a scale that I can’t even comprehend. So when He says that all things work together for good, even if I can’t see it, He does, and I need to trust that. So I let go.

I may have my answers someday, perhaps in heaven. But I have a feeling that by then, I’m not going to care. Why? I’ll finally be in God’s presence and that will be all I need.