Category Archives: Personal

Personal

Why isn’t Marriage Romantic Anymore?

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Dan and I were watching The Event one night. Afterwards, I turned to Dan and told him they should have had two of the main characters married instead of just dating. I would have pulled for them more. Then Dan pointed out something: most of the world does not see the romance or permanence of marriage anymore.

Dan’s words saddened me. I guess I’m one of those that still believes marriage can be the strongest human relationship in the world. Where a man finds a woman and chooses to love only her the rest of his life. Where a woman stands beside her man as his lover, friend, and ally. The kind of bond that if the woman went missing, the man will go to the ends of the earth to find her (cue music “I’ll Always Find You”).

I have a hard time believing in that kind of permanent love between two people merely dating. And even harder time believing that of total strangers. Yet that is the romance we see on the big screen or read about in books.

I know, I know, you’re saying that kind of romantic marriage is more fairytale than reality. And considering the amount of divorce, infidelity, and disrespect in marriages nowadays, it’s easy to see why. But isn’t the heartthrobbing, I-will-throw-myself-in-front-of-the-monster (even though I’ve only known you two days), let’s kiss (and do more) but I may or may not be here tomorrow kind of love just as fairytalish?

Why is it that marriage has to be unexciting, unromantic, or the big problem in a movie/book? Why can’t it be the romantic element? That together, the hero and heroine are stronger than they would be apart?

I love the opening scene to Star Wars: Survivors Quest by Timothy Zahn. We watch Luke Skywalker and his wife Mara Jade totally clean out the bad guys. But not just in that scene. They do that through the entire book. And Star Wars series. Apart, Luke and Mara are pretty good jedis. Together, unbeatable. They are a fictional example of a great husband/wife team. They love each other exclusively, watch each other’s backs, powerful in their own right, but even more so together. Why can’t we have more romance like that?

Or how about Spy Kids? The movie starts out with two international spies assigned to take out the other. Of course, they fall in love instead and choose to embark on the “greatest journey of all”: marriage (and kids :)).

I would love to see more of this kind of romance when I read or watch a movie. A romance where marriage is a good thing, something to be desired. It reinforces my own desire for a good marriage, one worth fighting for.

How about you? Would you like to see more of this kind of romance? What books or movies have you seen marriage portrayed as romantic?

Christian Life, Personal

Church Planting: Nuts and Bolts

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Last week I talked about how important the foundation is for a church plant. If Jesus is not the foundation, then whatever you build will eventually crumble. A church plant needs leaders who are following Jesus wholeheartedly (by following what He says in His word both within church and in the home).

A church plant also needs people praying: praying for God’s power, strength and protection for when (not if) the enemy comes knocking. Prayer for godly leaders. Prayer that we do not lose sight of our first love, Jesus. Prayer for those whose lives will be touched. Prayer, prayer did I mention prayer?

Ok, great. Foundation. Got that. So how about the walls? The roof? When do you start building (or planting the church)? I know a lot of you are curious about the process. So I wanted to share this week what we are doing and how you can be a tangible part of this plant!

First: Finances. Someone asked me the other day what was the scariest part of church planting. Without hesitation, I said finances. For me personally, this is the scariest part. No paycheck. Trusting God to take care of us.

It is going to take time before this ministry can support itself. After weeks of prayer, seeking wise counsel, and looking at all our options, Dan and I decided to have me go back to work full time. Why? Primarily Dan is going to need the freedom and flexibility to meet with people and to help start the church. By working, I will be able to give him that freedom and serve the church in this way.

Not that Dan will be sitting at home eating bon bons :). He is going back to school and getting a one-year masters degree in church planting. This will serve twofold: financial aid to support us and give him some additional training in church planting. This also allows him to stay home with the kids and again meet with people.

Second: Support. No person is an island and neither is a church plant. Before we even considered the possibility of church planting here, Dan met with local pastors to ask their advice. Our heart is for the new church to not be in competition but complementary to other local gatherings. After receiving positive feedback, Dan then asked a couple local church planters to mentor him.

Along with local support, we are in the process of being evaluated by national organizations that help church planters.

Third: Connections. Church planting is a contact sport :). In order to reach people, we have to meet people. So over the summer, there will be casual events for people to come and check out Living Grace Church. Our first one will be tomorrow. Next month there will be another one. And more the rest of the year.

Along with casual events, we want to start connecting with people who feel led to be a part of this church plant. Those that have a passion for seeing a church birthed, those that like adventure with risk.

This will be a community launch, not a Dan and I thing. I know some of you have been following our church plant and wondering where you fit in. You are welcome to join us and see what God is going to do. Someone asked a few days ago; “I love my church, but I want to help you.” Great! You can still be a part of the Launch Team, and when we are birthed return to you home church. This plant is a God thing, not an us thing. We want to reach as many as we can, and that is only accomplished when we put aside differences and live out our faith in community where others can see it.

After all, church is who we are, not something we attend :).

If the launch team is not for you, or perhaps you live far away, then consider being a prayer partner for Living Grace Church (a very vital part of our foundation).

If you are interested in being a prayer partner, click here for more info. By joining the Prayer Team, you will receive emails with specific prayer requests and updates on what is happening.

If you want to help us launch Living Grace Church, click here. We are looking for people who will help with events, help us connect with the community, perhaps provided skills or gifts that we don’t possess (like graphic design, music, visual media, or just love hanging out with people and being goofy… although that’s a skill Dan has in abundance :P).

Thanks for taking time to pray for us and considering being a part of the Launch or Prayer Team. Tomorrow is our first official event. Come with any questions you have and an appetite. Falls Park, 11am-2pm. Free hotdogs and a drink (yum!).

 

 

Christian Life, Personal

Church Planting: The Foundation

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How do you start a church? Do you spam flyers everywhere, then rent a room and start doing Sunday morning services?

How is a church really born?

First, it must begin with a foundation. Just like building a house, you don’t just set up the walls and roof and call it good. All it would take is one nice big Midwestern storm and poof! The house falls. Same with a church. Without a solid foundation, a church falls.

So what is that foundation? Jesus.

Before a church even begins, it must be founded on Jesus. Those starting the church must be following Him, listening to Him, asking Him what He desires for the church. If a church does not start with Jesus, then it does not have a foundation.

So how does that look practically?

First, the leaders. Those who desire to lead the church should first look at the qualifications listed in the Bible. Are they living out these qualities? Are they living obedient to Jesus? Here are a few of the qualifications listed:

  • Lives a blameless life.
  • Faithful to his wife.
  • Not arrogant or quick tempered.
  • Not dishonest with money.
  • Love what is good.
  • Live wisely and be just.
  • Live a devout and disciplined life.
  • Must have a strong belief in the message he was taught.

There are more, but these are just a few of the qualities the Bible lists for those desiring to lead the church. I’m overwhelmed even looking at them. Whew!

Does this mean that leaders need to be perfect? No, or else they would not need Jesus. But a leader should be known for living out the qualities listed in the Bible. And humble enough to admit when they do sin, ask forgiveness, and move on.

Now notice, it doesn’t list leaders need to wear ties, have the right shoes, hairdo, or anything external like that. It lists qualities of the heart, character. It matters what the leader is on the inside, not the outside. A Spirit-led humble heart that follows Jesus. A leader who is worried about putting on a good front when at church, but acts differently at home will weaken the church’s foundation. A church’s foundation will only remain solid as long as the leaders are godly both at church and in the home.

Practically, what does that mean for Living Grace Church? First, it means that Dan and I need to examine our own lives. Are we following Jesus and obeying his Word? Are we living out these qualities (not perfectly, but consistently)? I include myself because as a pastor’s wife, I am a leader too, if nothing else because people are watching me.

This also means those desiring to help lead Living Grace Church need to be godly leaders. As those people come forward, we need to ask them if they are following what God says about leaders in the church. And then see if their lives back it up over time.

Godly leaders are crucial to the foundation of a church. It is the leaders who guard the flock, lead by example, serve like Jesus served (with a towel in hand, washing feet), and sacrifice because they know people matter to God. When a church is built on these kinds of people, people who love and follow Jesus, then the foundation will be solid.

Another crucial part of planting a church is prayer. Prayer goes hand in hand with godly leaders when pouring the foundation of a church. Without prayer, how will we hear God? Prayer is time spent with Jesus, asking and then quietly listening. It cannot be rushed. Let me say that again. Prayer cannot be rushed. It takes time to align ourselves with Jesus, to finally quiet our heart before Him, then hear Him.

Prayer changes our hearts. We begin to see the world as Jesus does. We begin to love people as Jesus does. Prayer prepares us to follow Jesus wherever He leads because we have spent time with Him, quietly, daily.

Again, what does that mean for Living Grace Church? It means we need people praying for this newborn church. We need people quieting themselves before Jesus, asking Him to direct His church. We need prayer for godly leaders, for endurance when the enemy fights back, for those whose lives will be touched. And soon we will need prayer for things such as a facility, finances, and partners.

It is not ambition that will plant this church. Nor hard work or luck. The church will be built on Jesus. It will be built on those who choose to give themselves to God to be used in whatever way He chooses. It will be hard, scary, and sacrificial. But by choosing to give ourselves to God, many more will come to know Him. And that, my friends, makes it all worth it.

 

*If you are interested in joining us, we need people for both our Launch Team and Prayer Team. To find out more, go to www.aplace4grace.org or facebook.com/aplace4grace.

 

*For more passages on godly leadership, check out Acts 20:28-31; 1 Pet 5:1-4 ; Titus 1:5-9 ; 1 Tim 3:1-6 .

 

 

Christian Life, Personal

Church Planting

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Freefalling. Leap of faith. No safety net. I call it church planting.

I know many of you have been wondering what Dan and I have been up to the last few months. Truth be told, Dan and I have been wondering the same thing. What next? What path do we take? Where do we go? But most importantly, what does God want us to do?

Now we know. And we want to share with you.

A couple years ago, a seed was planted inside both our hearts and minds. The idea of church planting. We began to research what that meant and how one begins a church. Then God brought along a church for Dan to pastor at, so the idea settled in the back of our minds.

Two months ago, we found ourselves facing a blank future. Should we continue in ministry? Find secular jobs? Or… revive the dream of a church plant?

I will be honest, the thought of church planting scares the pants off of me. I am a creature of security. I like to have a stable life with a stable income, savings in the bank, something for a rainy day. To church plant means no security. No guarantees, no income, no safety net. Yet lately, as I look at life, that’s true of anything we do. Our health can vanish in an instant, bank accounts can disappear overnight, jobs gone within minutes. The only guarantee in life is God. His hands are the best security there is.

So we are taking the plunge. Dan and I are church planting in the Madison and Hamilton counties of Indiana. Our heart and mission are for the unchurched and overchurched (those who have been Christians/churchgoers all their lives, but are chained to religion). We not only want to share God, but also our lives with those who God brings. We want to be a safe place for life changing grace.

However, no man (or church) is an island. I have learned over the years the power of prayer. And so I am asking for anyone who is lead to pray for our mission to the people of Indiana. And if you feel even more risky, be part of our Launch Team. Both are vital to launching a church. To find out more, visit Living Grace Church on facebook or http://www.aplace4grace.org.

Dan and I are currently working on a more detailed website and hope to have it up sometime in the next couple weeks. I will also be blogging about how exactly one starts this crazy adventure called church planting next Friday, so stay tuned :).

 

 

God's Character, Personal

Jesus Wept

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If you have been a Christian for any amount of time, you are told that all things work for good and God’s glory. The suffering that comes into your life will make you a better person. Just give it to God, you’re told.

Then you find yourself hit by life. The pain is far beyond what you thought it would be: it goes right to the core of your heart. And suddenly those platitudes you have heard uttered by Christians give no comfort whatsoever. You see no good in what you are going through. And you see God as a stoic being, moving around the pieces of life like a chessboard. You are only a piece to be moved around so God receives the glory.

I felt like this a couple weeks ago. I knew all things work together for good. I knew that my life is not my own, but for God to use for His glory. But I felt like God didn’t feel for me. That God was up above, moving around my life with a look of disinterest. I was only a means to an end. And my suffering meant very little in the grand scheme of things.

Then I read began reading the book of John. And God showed me a picture of himself. Yes, He is orchestrating all of our lives for good and yes, He does all of this for His glory (for when God receives glory, we bask in the warmth). But He is not looking down on us with a stoic expression. He is moved by our hurt.

Sometimes He weeps.

As a child, it was a contest to see who knew the shortest verse in the Bible. And in case you don’t know, it is “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35). But I never understood the full power of that verse until a couple weeks ago. As I read John 11, I felt moved by the story of Martha and Mary and their brother Lazerus.

Lazerus is deathly sick. So his sisters send word to Jesus. They know Jesus can heal their brother. They have seen His power and miracles. But Jesus never comes. And so Lazerus dies. Can you feel their shock, their feelings of betrayal? Why did Jesus heal so many others, but he never came to help them, His friends? They bury Lazerus, probably along with their hope.

Now let’s look at Jesus’ point of view. Jesus receives word that Lazerus is deathly ill. But He has a plan: a plan for good and God’s glory. So Jesus waits. And waits. Until Lazerus dies. Then he tells his disciples they must head back to Judea so he can awaken Lazerus.

However, you do not see an unemotional Jesus in this chapter. Look how He responds when he sees Mary and the others who are grieving with her: “When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled.” (John 11:33). The grieving he saw moved Jesus.

They head out to the tomb. And at this point Jesus weeps. He sees the grief and hurt of the people around him. My friends, God sees the hurt and grief of us too. He is not callous to our battered hearts and lives. Even while God is using us for good and for His glory, I believe He is also weeping with us. We have a God who has also suffered. “Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested.” (Hebrews 2:18).

Jesus wept. What a powerful verse. Those two simple words opened my eyes. I no longer see God as a stoic being above me, moving around the pieces of my life with a calloused hand. Instead I see a God who weeps with me.

*On that note, I want to ask for prayer for a young family I know who is facing a very dark period in their lives. The father has been diagnosed with a strange kind of cancer. I have known this family for years and they have been a rich blessing to both Dan and me. They have two young children (about the age of my own). I know God can heal him. But I also know God might have other plans. I ask anyone reading this to pray for strength as they face the next couple weeks, months, even years. I pray that their hearts will find peace and love during this turbulent time. And I pray that they will know that they are loved and prayed for by many. Amen.

Christian Life, Personal

Is it Wrong to be Rich?

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What do you think? After all, Jesus said blessed are the poor. Right?

But what about people like Abraham, Job, and King David? These men were rich, even famous for how rich they were. However, there is one thing I notice. These men did not follow their riches. They followed God. So is it wrong to be rich? No. But God does have some specific instructions for those who are rich:

“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life. (1 Timothy 6:17-19 NLT).

Now notice Paul doesn’t say save six months of your salary or save up for that car. He says not to trust in money, but in God (I find it too easy sometimes to trust in a savings account than God). Instead, Paul instructs those who are rich to use their money for good, to do good works, to be generous to those in need, to share with others. I like to call it Wild Abandon Giving (WAG for short).

When you WAG, the Bible says you will experience true life. Think about that for a moment. Isn’t that like God to turn upside down what the world says? Instead of saving and buying what you want, give; give it all away. Do good works. Be generous. WAG! And you will experience true life.

You know, I am rich, so Paul’s words are for me too. I have a roof over my head and food to eat three times a day. My children are receiving an education and I even have Internet so I can blog.

I’ll admit, it can be hard to WAG when the bills come in. But I realized a couple days after Dan lost his job that I did not want fear of the future to stop me from being generous now.

And you know what, God doesn’t want me to stop being generous either. If I WAG (Wild Abandon Giving), He will take care of my needs. So how about you? Are you ready to start WAGGING :)?

Personal

Prayer Request

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I wasn’t planning on blogging today since I will be participating in the http://www.hoosierink.blogspot.com tomorrow and blogging about a book review on Monday. However, life happens and so I am using today’s post to ask anyone who comes to my blog to pray for Dan, myself, and my family.

In Darkness there is Light. For a year now that has been the tagline for both my writing and my life. Well, I’m living it out again. The darkness in my life feels overwhelming.

So I am asking for prayer that Dan and I will find jobs very soon. I also ask for prayer for a potential ministry opportunity God might be directing us towards. And I ask for prayer for our spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. We both feel very battered right now.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us the assurance about things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1 NLT

Personal

New Every Morning

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I love mornings. There are summer mornings where the sky is a light blue, the grass green and lush, and dew still clings to each blade of grass. The sun rises as if it’s shouting to the world that it’s a brand new day.

Then there are cold crisp wintry mornings. Snow falls during the night, leaving the world in a blanket of white cold softness. I love those kinds of mornings with a steaming hot cup of coffee in my hands and my feet perched right on top of the heat vents.

Spring mornings are filled with color. You wake up to find the tulips and daffodils have made an appearance. I was outside yesterday and found some cute purple flowers in front of my house. I have no idea what kind of flower they are, but they sure are pretty.

Autumn mornings for me are overcast; the dark gray sky contrasts with the vivid oranges, reds and yellows of the trees that line the street I live on. If I imagine hard enough, I’m sure I can smell the smoke from a wood burning stove somewhere. I break out the oatmeal that has been sitting in the back of my cupboard and make a pot full of the stuff, then serve it with a bit of brown sugar, cinnamon and cream.

I love mornings for the colors, the smells, and the sounds. But I also love mornings for another reason. They represent the start to a fresh new day. I have a new day to do what is right, to enjoy what God has given me, to take a step away from the hurt and a step towards my future.

Not all mornings are rosy and golden. Some mornings are harder than others. There are mornings when I don’t want to wake up. What happened yesterday still hurts today. But each morning that passes God uses to heal. Forgiveness is extended, the grief fades, and soon I have hope again.

Each morning is unmarred and full of possibility. It’s a get-up-and-try-it-again. A new start full of God’s mercy and goodness.

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.”  Lamentations 3:22-23 (NLT)

 

 

Christian Life, Personal

Hurts and Heartache

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It comes in the form of a phone call, a letter, the distraught look of the doctor across the desk. You try to prepare yourself. But no matter how the news is delivered, it hits you like a punch in the gut. You reel back from the blow. Shock sets in. You wonder what you’re going to do. Life as you know it will never be the same again.

I know I’m not the only one who is or has gone through something, whether that is the death of a loved one, news that the cancer is back, or the loss of a job. And if you’re like me, you find your confidence shaken. What you once thought you believed you’re not sure about anymore. So what do you do?

As I prepared for this post, I read an article about the five stages of grief. As I read, it hit me: I was experiencing those stages. You do not need to experience death in order to have your world turned upside down. At first I found myself in denial. I kept thinking there had to be some mistake; that this was some kind of strange nightmare and I would eventually wake up, right?

But soon reality set in and I found myself angry. Really angry. I wanted an answer for why my husband had lost his job. But none came.

Then I began to bargain with God. I told God I would do anything if he would just get my family safely through this. Being a planner, I began to make plans after plans of what I would do to keep my family afloat. No matter the cost to myself, I would do what it took to get my family safely to the other side.

More days past and my plans fell to the wayside. Depression set in. I will admit its still here, sapping my heart and mind, clouding my vision. I once heard the Chinese symbol for perseverance was a heart with a dagger in it. I’m not sure if that’s true, but that is what life feels like right now. You hurt so bad you don’t want to move. But you must. Because life goes on.

The last stage of grief is acceptance. I can feel it on the horizon. But I’m scared of it. I’m afraid that if I accept what has happened, then that will make it okay. I know it’s illogical, but many times there is no logic in grief. Only deep intense feelings.

So where is God in all of this? Where is God during the hurts and heartache? I will be honest and say I don’t know why God allowed Dan to lose his job. I do not know what our future holds. And I hurt right now. But one thing I know, that in darkness there is light.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. John 1:5

That light is Jesus. No matter how dark life gets, it can never extinguish God. I am clinging to that promise now. And though I can’t see Him through all the pain, I know God is holding me. For if His hands can hold every star in the sky and He cares about even the smallest bird, then I know He will carry me through.