What do God, zombies, and Star Wars have in common? Check out my guest blog over at Speculative Faith and find out 🙂
http://www.speculativefaith.com/2013/04/12/god-zombies-and-star-wars/
Category Archives: Christian Life
Can Suicide Separate Us From God?
This week brought shocking news: the son of Rick and Kay Warren (author of the Purpose Driven Life) committed suicide. Within days, this news has spread, raising a lot of questions and discussion about suicide and Christians. I want to share with you two years ago I went through a very dark time in my life, a dark night of the soul. And unless you have experienced this, you have no idea what it is like to be suicidal.
My life was already full of cracks by the time my husband was fired from the church we were serving at. I was like a piece of glass with multiple fractures. We had been laid off from one church, lived on unemployment for almost a year, experienced loss of health and almost the life of our son, burned out by ministry, forced to move every few years, and now this. I remember the shock to this day: walking around in a numb state until my insides shattered into a thousand pieces. I was broken beyond repair and I entered the Valley of the Shadow of Death.
Those months after my husband lost his job were the darkest in my life. Even though I was still around people, I felt such intense loneliness it hurt physically. Depression hung on me like a black shroud. At one point, I remember visualizing myself curled up in a ball, naked, laying on a rock in the middle of a raging storm out in the ocean, with the wind and the harsh rain pounding down on me. All alone.
I couldn’t hear God anymore. Up to that point, I could always hear God, feel Him near me. But not anymore. I would look up to see only black raging clouds. I knew God was around somewhere up above those clouds, but I couldn’t see Him like I used to. And my spiritual hearing was gone, like being hit by a blast wave that leaves you deaf.
The depression went on for months. I felt like I was drowning. I was still fighting to stay afloat, but there was part of me that wanted to give up and sink down into the waters and be done.
This empty, deathly feeling scared me. I’ve been depressed before, but usually the thought of my husband and kids drew me back. But this time it was not enough. I was afraid that I was going to give in to the desire and kill myself. It’s like standing on an edge, looking down, and having that wild feeling to throw oneself off.
There was only one thing that stopped me: I did not want to meet God that way. I did not want to take my life and stand before God and see the disappointment on His face. I could not take my life… because my life was not mine to take. It belonged to God.
That was the anchor I clung to during that wild tempest in my life. Eventually I dove into God’s word, especially the Psalms, finding comfort in the fact that I was not the only one who had ever felt that way. Psalm 42:5 says, “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again—my Savior and my God!”
And even Paul writes about his discouragement: 2 Corinthians 1:8-9a “For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves…”
The sentence of death. That is exactly what it feels like. But Paul goes on to say this: “…so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on who we have set our hope…” (2 Corinthians 1:9b-10)
I made a choice that day, a choice that I have stuck with ever since: my life is God’s and God’s alone, for Him to use, and for Him to bring me home when it is time. I still could not see God, could not hear Him when I made this choice. But I chose to trust that He would deliver me someday. And He did, through the prayers and friendship of my husband and two close friends. This is how God delivered Paul as well: “And He will yet deliver us, you also joining in helping us through your prayers…”
I am blessed to have come through a time like that alive. But what happens to a person who chooses to end it all? Is that person damned? Is his or her salvation no longer valid since the person took his or her own life?
I believe God’s answer is no.
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow— not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38
Not even suicide.
But I believe that person will miss out on all that God could have done in his or her life: all the people that person might have touched, all the people that person might have helped or comforted; the view of the rainbow after the storm.
And yet there are many living that are already missing out. A lot of people today are missing out on what God can do in their lives because they are too busy chasing their own dreams. It doesn’t take death to stop God’s work in our lives, just our selfish ambition and belief that our lives are our own to use and pursue what we want to.
I encourage you to love and pray for others. You never know if there is death lurking behind a smiling face. And pray for the Warren family, that they experience grace and peace. Our heart goes out to them with love.
The Problem with Death
A few weeks ago, I read one Christian’s point of view on how the world began. This person laid out the different views out there, ranging from evolution to creation, to God using evolution in His creation, young earth, old Earth, and everything in between. This person concluded that there was not enough evidence to support anything; but what was important was the Maker, not how everything came to be.
I have heard this case before. I have strong Christian friends who believe God used evolution in His creation of the world. And lately, I have been rethinking my views. After all, there is a lot of debate on this issue, each with a valid point. But one thing keeps pulling me back from embracing the view that God used evolution: the problem of death.
My understanding of evolution is that through countless changes in both the world and species, what we see now came to be. And through that process there was a lot of death. Slowly, the genetics of the species changed, evolving to survive. What couldn’t live, died. What did live changed again, then died out so the new level of genetics could survive.
However, the Bible states death came through one man: Adam (Romans 5:12). Before Adam sinned, there was no death. Nothing died. And if there was no death, then there would be many species running around, each of them in a different state of evolution. The world would be filled with half-baked critters that were not done changing yet.
And where did they all go when Adam sinned and death finally entered creation? Did the imperfect die away? Yet that would contradict what God said when He finished creating: that everything was good (Genesis 1:31).
Ultimately though, the problem of death and the creation of the world has to do with our salvation. Through one man’s sin death entered the world, and through one man life came as well. We are all connected to Adam, and therefore we will die. But through Jesus we can have life. But if we are not connected to Adam, then can we be saved?
Imagine Adam and Jesus as doors on either side of a room. All who came through one door may go through the other door. But if you are not even in the same room, can you go through the other door? If mankind really did evolve, then are we all connected? What about those who did not fully evolve into humans, who were not Adam? Are any of us related to those pre-evolved humans? If so, can we be saved?
See the problem?
In the end, both faith and logical thinking are required for any belief about the origins of life. Yes, the Maker is important (if you believe in a Maker). But so is how He created the world. Life and death hinge on that.
We Were Once Zombies
I watched an episode of The Walking Dead the other night. The story was absolutely intriguing: what would the world be like if a disease turned almost everyone into zombies? The problem was, I couldn’t stomach the headshots or the body parts trailing behind the corpses. So I only ended up watching one and a half episodes. But it made me start thinking: all of us are zombies.
Huh?
I work with junior high boys and we always end up talking about interesting things (surprising, right?). One night we talked about this verse: “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins…” Ephesians 2:1 NASB (emphasis mine). And it hit me: we are all zombies. We are walking around, talking, eating, breathing, living. And yet we are dead. Corpses. Living and dead and the same time.
Our physical bodies are alive, but our souls are dead. The moment Adam sinned, the entire human race was condemned to a zombie existence: shuffling around, searching for life, with no clue how destitute we are. We can no more cure ourselves than those poor wretches on The Walking Dead.
But there was someone who could. “But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead… ” Ephesians 2:4 NLT (emphasis mine)
The dead cannot save themselves. They cannot bring life back into their bodies. But God could, and He did. Can you imagine the scene? God walking up to a zombie, touching him or her, and restoring life back into the body and healing away the decay? The way the person would look afterward, with wonder and with thankfulness.
Right now I am picturing all those zombies on The Walking Dead and what that episode would look like if someone finally found a cure (maybe there is a cure on the show, I don’t know). What a happy day that would be, when they could finally become human again.
Where is God?
I recently found out some friends of mine just lost their sweet little baby son. When I read the news, I was devastated. Having been through some life shattering events in my own life, my heart broke for them. I know if I was in their place, deep inside my heart I would be asking where was God?
Why didn’t He heal my son? Why didn’t He step in? Where was He? Does He see me now, crying? Does He care? Or am I simply a pawn in His cosmic game of chess where in the end everything turns out for good, but right now all I feel is pain?
How will I go on? Can I go on? Everything around me is so dark I can’t see the way. All I want to do is curl up in a corner and cry. I am drowning from the pain inside.
In a time like this, there are no words that can bring comfort. Platitudes are just empty sayings. Reminders that God is there, or that everything will turn out does not help a devastated heart. All we want is our life, our child, our hope back. But life has been altered, and it will never be the same again.
So where is God in all this? From my own experience, I can say He is there. I wrote a post over a year ago titled Jesus wept. Dan had just been let go from the church we were serving at. Not only did we lose a job, we lost a church, we lost friends, we lost community. It was the darkest time of my life. And nothing anyone said could pull me out of the pit of despair. Until I read John 11:35.
Jesus wept.
Yes, God is working everything for good (Romans 8:28), and yes, God is working everything for His glory. But we are not alone. He is also walking beside us and crying with us. He is not immune to our grieving hearts. Good will come from our hurt. God is in control. Someday, we may see the big picture and know that it was all worth it.
But until then, God will carry us.
How about you? Do you feel like God has abandoned you? Are you facing a devastating loss? What helps you keep going?
Eyes on the Finish Line
When you run the hurdles, you don’t look at the hurdles. You look past them, to the finish line. When the gun goes off and you lift your head, you find the tape. You train your eyes on it, never taking your gaze off, and run.
But that is so contrary to what you want to do. Imagine a long line of hurdles. Each one a barrier between you and the end of the race. Each one ready to stop you or trip you. Your inclination is to look at each one as you approach, to make sure you get over, that your leg doesn’t get caught. The problem is, if you look at the hurdles you slow down.
I used to run the hurdles. Everyday we would train. We would do various exercises to train our legs to hover over the hurdle, then snap down once we were over. Over and over again, until we had developed muscle memory. Even today, when I face a baby gate, my legs snap up and over without missing a beat :).
The hardest thing to learn was to focus on the finish line and not the hurdles. All I wanted to do was stare at the hurdle. I was scared I would trip and fall. But when my gaze was on the hurdle in front of me, I slowed down. I missed my steps. My rhythm would be thrown off and I would end up last.
I was sharing this with a friend of mine this past week. She is spiritually tired right now, and focusing on the hurdles in her life. I shared my story, and how I had to learn to focus on the finish line. Everything clicked for her. She was scared that she would not make it over the next hurdle.
We talked, and she realized two things: she needed to focus again on the finish line. And she needed to trust her faith muscles to get her over the hurdles. All those years of learning to trust God would now get her through what she was facing in her life.
I hadn’t thought about the second part, the part where the quiet time we spend everyday with God is training our “faith” muscles so that when hurdles come up in our lives, we automatically know how to respond. It made sense. If I hadn’t trained my legs to know what to do while my eyes were set on the finish line, I would not have been able to get over the hurdles.
Training and focus. Quiet time and Jesus. Both needed to get over the hurdles, whether physical, mental, or spiritual.
How about you? Are you facing some hurdles in your life? Do you need to place you eyes back on the finish line?
Just What I Needed to Read
I have been reading one particular Psalm everyday for the last twenty days. Deep inside my heart, I needed to hear these words, over and over again. They have been a balm to me; healing places I did not realize were still broken inside me. Today I want to share them with you. Perhaps you need to be reminded that you can trust God, that He will take care of you, and that He loves you too.
Psalm 37
1 “Do not worry about the wicked.”
I realized how much I was worrying about the wicked: about the way our government is heading, people who walk into schools and shoot kids, and the world my children will soon inherit. But God says do not worry. He is still in control, even if everything seems crazy.
2 “Trust in the Lord and do good.”
“But God,” I would say, “what about…?” And He would bring this verse to mind: trust Him. My only job is to do good: to do what I can do, and leave the rest to Him. After weeks of dwelling on this verse, I am finding I am trusting God a lot faster, and looking for what good I can do in a situation, then letting go.
4 “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desire.”
Funny thing, I discovered that some of my heart’s desires have nothing to do in taking delight in the Lord. Rather, they have more to do with me delighting in myself. Yikes! What an eye opener! So I’ve been praying and thinking about what it means to delight in the Lord.
5 “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and He will help you.”
My writing, my family, my ministry, my life. It is not my own. And when I trust God (there’s that word again), He will help me.
7 “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.”
Anyone else have a hard time waiting? Yeah, me too. It’s hard to be still and wait for God to act. Sometimes I feel like the fidgety kid, glancing at the window, going, “Come on, let’s go!” I usually leap before I have taken the time to be quiet and ask God for wisdom. And most often I regret my hasty actions.
8 “Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper— it only leads to harm.”
I was angry. I had all these plans for the month of December, then I had to suddenly pack everything and move to a new house while dealing with a sick family. I was very disappointed and mad. Why did this have to happen at Christmas? So I grouched and complained. And it did nothing to help my family. When I read this verse, it really convicted me about hanging on to my anger.
16 “It is better to be godly and have little than to be evil and rich.”
I will confess, there are times I wish I had a little more money. I have been pinching pennies for as long as I can remember and a break would be nice, just once not to have to think about the impact a purchase will have on my family. But I would rather be poor and follow God the rest of my days, than to turn from Him and have all the wealth in the world. Money will never satisfy the deep places of my heart the way God does.
23 “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”
Really? Every detail? Yes, God delights in our lives. As a stay at home mom, there are times when I feel small and insignificant. I mean, what’s so amazing about changing diapers, doing laundry, and cleaning house? But God still delights in me, even when no one else notices me.
24 “Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.”
There have been soul-crushing moments where I felt like life had bottomed out on me. Everything was so dark and bleak that I could no longer see God. But I could feel Him, His hand in my hand. He led me through those valleys and never let go, even when I was tempted to. We will suffer, and we will stumble. But God won’t let go of us. And that is a comforting thought.
There are so many other verses I would love to share. But instead, I want to encourage you to take a look at Psalm 37 for yourself and soak in what God has to say.
How about you? What verse or chapter from God’s Word has impacted you lately?
A New Hope
As I look to 2013, I can’t help but feel hope. Every year on January 1st, I feel this way. What’s going to happen? What new thing am I going to experience? What surprise is waiting for me this year?
2012 held a lot of surprises for me and my family. Dan found a job as lead pastor at Riverpoint Church, which we are so very thankful for. That led to a big move from Indiana to Kansas. Huge transition for our family.
At the same time my first book released, Daughter of Light. I have been blessed with emails and notes from readers who not only enjoyed the book, but share how the story touched their hearts as well. As an author, it is that kind of response that keeps me writing.
Lastly, my youngest daughter had surgery. Not something I was expecting when looking at 2012, but we are grateful we were in a place where we could provide that for her. She is recovering well, and breathing better at night (which to this mommy is the sweetest sound).
So what will 2013 hold? I will be releasing another book (and hopefully not during a move this time lol). Son of Truth will be releasing April 1st, 2013 and will continue the story of Rowen Mar and Caleb Tala.
We also look forward to settling down in our new home in Kansas and getting to know our new friends more.
And hopefully a family trip this summer.
I’m generally a pessimist (I think it’s the calculating part of me that always points out everything that could happen). But January 1st is the one day that all I see is hope: a fresh new year filled with possibilities. Anything can happen.
And if the previous years have taught me anything, it’s that even if the worst possible things happen (like job or house loss, or even death), God is still God and He is still here, even in the darkest times. Knowing that gives me hope for the future.
What about you? How was 2012? What are you looking forward to in 2013?
God Keeps His Promise
When I shared the Christmas story with my Sunday school class this past Sunday, I didn’t start with a baby in a manger, I started back in Genesis when God created the universe. I wanted my students to realize the powerful implication of the Christmas story: that the maker of the entire universe, the all-powerful God, bigger than any of us, came to be a human being.
As I shared the story of creation, I realized something: the world waited thousands of years for God to keep His promise by the time Jesus came. You see, when Adam and Eve sinned, and sinned entered both the world and our very hearts, God made a promise: to come back and make things right.
Fast forward. In the little town of Bethlehem, God finally came as a baby human. The foretold promise. But who knew? Who was watching? When it finally happened, hardly anyone showed up. Angels told shepherds about it. And of course Mary and Joseph knew. And Simon and Anna from the temple. And maybe a couple relatives (Elizabeth knew). And some magi from the Far East started heading that direction.
But where were all the people who had been waiting for God’s promise? Did they think it wouldn’t happen in their lifetime? Had they forgotten? Or perhaps they couldn’t imagine it would happen the way it did: God born to a poor couple in a barn, not to a kind and queen in a palace.
God always keeps His promise, no matter how long it takes. The Christmas story teaches us that. But it doesn’t always happen when we think it will, or where, or even how. That is one thing I’ve definitely learned this year, that God’s ways are not my ways. And the way He goes about keeping His promises are usually not how I would have done it.
How about you? How has God kept His promise to you? Did He surprise you by how He did it?
God and Santa Claus
You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town.
My children were watching the old claymation Santa Claus is Coming to Town the other night. As I listened to the story and heard the song, something struck me. I found myself grateful God isn’t like Santa Claus.
Haha! Funny, right? Look at the lyrics. You better do this. You better not do that. Why? Because Santa is coming!
I have a suspicion that Santa was a means for parents to get their children to behave. “Susie, if you keep throwing a fit, Santa won’t bring you anything this year.” “Tommy, if you hit your sister again, Santa won’t bring you anything.” So for decades children have tried to behave during this time of year in hopes that if they are good enough, they will have presents under the tree.
But have any of us ever been good enough? I know I’ve cried. I’ve lost my temper. I’ve been a little less than loving towards those who cut in front of me in line as I try to get out of the store during the Christmas chaos.
He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! Oops! Santa saw! And now there will be coal for me in the stocking.
God sees too (much more than Santa sees). And He sees all the darkness inside our hearts. But did God leave coal for us on Christmas? Nope. Despite our crying, our pouting, our anger and hateful hearts, He still gave us a gift. The gift of His son Jesus.
Jesus came so that we could be saved from our sin. You see, no amount of being good on our part could ever be good enough. So God himself stepped in, took our place, freed us from the bondage of sin, healed our hearts, and gave us hope. God gives a us a gift apart from how good or bad we are. It is free for the taking. Jesus died for our sins. Will you accept his gift?
“’Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10,11
Morgan L. Busse 