Where is God?

I recently found out some friends of mine just lost their sweet little baby son. When I read the news, I was devastated. Having been through some life shattering events in my own life, my heart broke for them. I know if I was in their place, deep inside my heart I would be asking where was God?

Why didn’t He heal my son? Why didn’t He step in? Where was He? Does He see me now, crying? Does He care? Or am I simply a pawn in His cosmic game of chess where in the end everything turns out for good, but right now all I feel is pain?

How will I go on? Can I go on? Everything around me is so dark I can’t see the way. All I want to do is curl up in a corner and cry. I am drowning from the pain inside.

In a time like this, there are no words that can bring comfort. Platitudes are just empty sayings. Reminders that God is there, or that everything will turn out does not help a devastated heart. All we want is our life, our child, our hope back. But life has been altered, and it will never be the same again.

So where is God in all this? From my own experience, I can say He is there. I wrote a post over a year ago titled Jesus wept. Dan had just been let go from the church we were serving at. Not only did we lose a job, we lost a church, we lost friends, we lost community. It was the darkest time of my life. And nothing anyone said could pull me out of the pit of despair. Until I read John 11:35.

Jesus wept.

Yes, God is working everything for good (Romans 8:28), and yes, God is working everything for His glory. But we are not alone. He is also walking beside us and crying with us. He is not immune to our grieving hearts. Good will come from our hurt. God is in control. Someday, we may see the big picture and know that it was all worth it.

But until then, God will carry us.

How about you? Do you feel like God has abandoned you? Are you facing a devastating loss? What helps you keep going?


6 thoughts on “Where is God?”

  1. We lost our eldest son, Jesse, to cancer in May of 2011. He was just ten years old. The year after, we had a business failure. Then we lost our home church as well.

    I feel deeply with what you say. Jesus keeps us going. Him alone.

    1. Peter, thank you so much for sharing. Sometimes when you are hurting and you look around at all the smiling faces, you feel like you’re the only one who is in pain. But then you find out other people’s stories, about what they have experienced and you see that they made it, and you will too.

  2. Thank you for sharing Morgan. I know God is with me, and that everything you said was true. Right now though I am in a place where I don’t know what to say to God, and I’m not sure I am ready to hear what he has to say. But I will hold these things in my heart until that time comes when I am ready.

  3. @ Sabrina, God doesn’t need your prayers right now. He hears your heart. Sometimes our most sincere prayers are when we don’t think or utter a word. Just be in His presence.

    Many years ago within a six month period, we lost my parents. My sister was murdered in Florida. And while we were in Florida attending her funeral (where we were afraid for our own lives), our house burned to the ground. When we tried to fly home to our children (who were in church when the fire occurred), we were bumped from the flight. We spent the night in one of the airlines “club” rooms. While that delay seemed cruel, we arrived more rested to deal with the devastation of our home and lives. The months that followed were very painful. We were dealing with grief on so many levels. But we were able to see God’s hand in so many things~~both big and small. There were times when all I could do was extend my hand (literally) out to God and think I was holding His. This comforted me. That experience equipped me to be more compassionate to others who suffer loss of any kind and hopefully show them that God does care and has the bigger picture. We must trust in Him and know that our experiences give His the glory.

    1. Barb, I had no idea. Thank you for sharing. I never want to go through some of the stuff I have in my life again, but I also know my pain has made me a more loving, compassionate person.

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