I recently found out some friends of mine just lost their sweet little baby son. When I read the news, I was devastated. Having been through some life shattering events in my own life, my heart broke for them. I know if I was in their place, deep inside my heart I would be asking where was God?
Why didn’t He heal my son? Why didn’t He step in? Where was He? Does He see me now, crying? Does He care? Or am I simply a pawn in His cosmic game of chess where in the end everything turns out for good, but right now all I feel is pain?
How will I go on? Can I go on? Everything around me is so dark I can’t see the way. All I want to do is curl up in a corner and cry. I am drowning from the pain inside.
In a time like this, there are no words that can bring comfort. Platitudes are just empty sayings. Reminders that God is there, or that everything will turn out does not help a devastated heart. All we want is our life, our child, our hope back. But life has been altered, and it will never be the same again.
So where is God in all this? From my own experience, I can say He is there. I wrote a post over a year ago titled Jesus wept. Dan had just been let go from the church we were serving at. Not only did we lose a job, we lost a church, we lost friends, we lost community. It was the darkest time of my life. And nothing anyone said could pull me out of the pit of despair. Until I read John 11:35.
Yes, God is working everything for good (Romans 8:28), and yes, God is working everything for His glory. But we are not alone. He is also walking beside us and crying with us. He is not immune to our grieving hearts. Good will come from our hurt. God is in control. Someday, we may see the big picture and know that it was all worth it.
But until then, God will carry us.
How about you? Do you feel like God has abandoned you? Are you facing a devastating loss? What helps you keep going?