What’s it like being married to a pastor? Well, it’s all I know since I’ve never been married to an electrician, a veterinarian, or a store clerk (I was married to a bank teller for a couple months until God made it clear to Dan that he was called lol). Being married to a pastor brings a unique aspect to both life and marriage. So to lift the veil, I will be writing candidly about being married to the clergy in hopes that by sharing, I can demystify the life of the pastor and his family.
First, a disclaimer: every marriage and every family is different. So my experience as a pastor’s wife will be different than the next pastor’s wife because A) I’m Morgan and B) I’m married to Dan. ‘Nuff said.
Myth #1: Its great to be married to a pastor because they are amazing spiritual men (aka never sin). Hahahah! Next myth… Actually, I’ve heard this from more than one woman who wished their husband was a pastor so they were a better spiritual leader. Let me debunk that myth. Yes, your pastor sins. Or else they wouldn’t need Jesus. And just because they answered the call doesn’t mean they suddenly stopped sinning. I have been so angry at Dan that I have had to leave the room or else I would say something I would regret.
Being married to Dan from the beginning of his ministry has meant that over the years, I have watched both of us grow spiritually. We have learned to forgive, to bear each other’s burdens, to be truthful with one another. Dan didn’t start out that way (and frankly, neither did I). Just like you, your pastor is growing spiritually and will be until the day he dies.
Myth #2: Everything is spiritual in a pastor’s family. Huh? Trust me, a pastor’s family does not exist on a higher plane of spiritual existence. Both Dan and I have changed diapers, we pay our bills, and enjoy a good game of football. On a more serious note, our children were not born Christians. They are as sinful as the other kids in the nursery and need to hear about God’s grace and make their own choice to follow God.
Our goal in our family is not to be more spiritual but to be real. Real about the hurts and pains in life. Real about saying sorry and asking for forgiveness. Real about loving one another (tickle wrestling is great!). There is no church side and home side to us. We are who we are wherever we are. And by God’s grace, He is shaping us to become more like Him.
That’s all for this week. Next week I’ll talk about the pastor’s wife and polygamy (yep, you read that right but you’ll have to wait until next week to find out what I mean ;)).