Communion is a time of reflection and introspection. A time to remember what Jesus did for us and to examine our hearts. But years ago, something crept into that moment of silence. Guilt and fear.
God is very clear that we are to take communion in a worthy manner. We are to examine our hearts and see if we are living in unrepentant sin or need to make amends with a fellow brother or sister before we participate in communion. This makes sense: if we are remembering the price God paid for sin, should we not make sure there is not a speck of unconfessed sin inside of us before we partake?
As I thought this over, I became burdened every time communion was announced at church. I would carefully look over my life, turning over every “stone”, searching for any sin committed that would make me unworthy to take communion. Even if I could find nothing, I felt there was something I was overlooking and therefore could not take communion. Instead of a celebration, it became a fear. I imagined God looking down with disapproval on his face unless I made sure I was thoroughly “clean” before taking communion.
Then God spoke. As always, his voice is quiet. And he told me “Morgan, you’re not perfect. But I am. That is why I died. That is why there is communion. Because you are not perfect.” In that moment, I realized he was right. I will never know the depravity of my heart. I will never fully understand the darkness of sin that cost Jesus his life. I am not, and will never be, perfect this side of heaven.
The burden of guilt and fear lifted. I saw communion in a different light. God still says we should come to the table in a worthy manner. We should see if we are choosing our sinful ways over God’s way. And if there is a brother or sister we need to make things right with, we should. But we will never come to God’s table perfect. That’s why there is communion. To remember the price paid for sin. That God paid it willingly and lovingly for us.