Tag Archives: future

2012

It was interesting to read my blog entry for January 1st, 2011 (here). Had I known what 2011 held, I would have given it back and probably asked for a better year. I saw death and I saw job loss. I faced days full of darkness and pain. I cried more this year than all the years before combined. 2011 was the darkest year so far in my life.

But the light of hope still shone, even when I could not see it. God provided for my family. He was patient with me as I wrestled with all the darkness both inside me and out. He brought friends that stood by us and helped us.

God never let go of me.

I now stand on the brink of 2012. What is this year going to bring? I know a couple things already. It will bring the fruition of 8 years of writing: my first book. It will bring the much-anticipated birth for a friend of mine. It will bring change as Dan and I move on with our lives to the next ministry God takes us to.

But those are only hazy glimpses. In the end, we do not know the future. And I’m glad. I would worry way too much ;). Instead, I know the one who holds the future. And I’m learning to trust in Him.

A New Year

I love New Year’s Day 🙂 It feels like fresh fallen snow without a single footprint in it. Everything is new, untouched, and just waiting for me to come walk through it.

Its probably also one of the few days where my pessimism disappears (yeah, I tend to see the cup half empty, God is working on that lol). Instead of looking on the New Year with dread, I look at all the possibilities. What’s going to happen this year? My dreams all come to the forefront and I wonder if this will be the year for them. I’m a little girl, standing on the back porch with an entire yard of fresh fallen snow and I want to be the first one to put my footprint in it.

Looking back at other New Years, I know I could never have anticipated what God did that year:

1999: Three weeks in, Dan asked me to marry him 🙂

2002: A couple weeks into this year, Dan and I found out we were going to be parents for the first time… and he was only halfway through Seminary!

2005: Only a few short days before this year ended I had an ultrasound that showed two little blips on the screen. Yep, twins.

2006: The Shattering as I call this period of our lives. Dan lost his job and thus begun a long dark journey for us as God shattered us and began to mold us into people he could use.

2008: God gives and God takes away, blessed be his name! Thankfully for us, God chose to let our son Caleb live. For anyone who knows the little guy, he is a ray of sunshine wherever he goes 🙂

2010: A couple weeks in, God showed us he wanted us to move to Indiana (nope, never saw that coming in a million years lol).

So what will 2011 bring? In many ways, I am grateful I cannot see the future. I would not want to see the bad things (death, job loss) because I would be overcome with worry and depression. And honestly, I would not want to see the good things (publishing contract, surprise trip to Europe ;)) because that would be all I would focus on. No, God is wise in not letting us see what is before us. Instead, we see the possibilities, then look up at our Heavenly Father and know that whatever comes, he will be there right beside us, holding our hand.

So bring on 2011 and have a Happy New Year everyone!