I saw an alarming trend this past week: the idea if we should celebrate Mother’s Day. Writers and commenters alike spoke about dreading Sunday morning when the pastor would ask all the mothers in the congregation to stand, leaving behind those who were still barren. Or roses being passed out to mothers while others walked away empty-handed.
So voices began to rise saying that perhaps we should re-think Mother’s Day. It is a day of indescribable pain for those who long to be mothers, but have been denied the joy. Or for those who have lost mothers. Or have lost children through miscarriages. Why celebrate a day that hurts?
I understand. I have friends and family members who struggled with infertility. I have friends and family who have lost children. I have experienced a miscarriage myself. It is shocking experience to lose a life that should be shielded inside you. After all, if you can’t protect the child inside you, how will you protect the child outside you?
I also understand mothers. It is a hard, thankless job, with no days off, no vacation, no pay. You feel like a failure often. You give up your body, your time, and your dreams to bring up the next generation. Yes, you love the little tykes and would throw yourself in front of a moving truck to save them, but they sometimes drive you up a wall!
And secretly you wonder what kind of life you would have had if you didn’t have children. A career? Traveled the world? Wrote that book sitting in the back of your mind?
Being a mother, and being motherless are both extremely hard. Two different worlds that sometimes collide. Yet we can peer into each other’s lives and support one another in this way: Romans 12: 15 says, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”
We who are mothers should not forget our sisters who have not experienced the joy of motherhood. We should weep with them in their pain.
And we who are barren should not be jealous of the joy of our sisters, but rather be happy for them. We both carry a burden that is heavy and discouraging at times.
So should we celebrate Mother’s Day? A day to be thankful for mothers and show them our love? I say yes. Each of us has or had a mother. Without them, we would not be here. In a world that is growing less appreciative of mothers (and fathers), let us not take away a day in which our thoughts and hearts turn toward mothers and celebrate them in our lives.
What about you? Do you think we should celebrate Mother’s Day? Why or why not?
Morgan L. Busse 
From a male perspective, I’d say be happy with the mothers. We can get to the point where we celebrate nothing because some people will be unhappy.
It’s from a male perspective, but also from the perspective of one who saw his unborn child – and its mother – killed. Father’s Day shreds me, but why would I compound the sorrow by preventing others from celebrating? It doesn’t make sense.
Andrew, I am so sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing.
The first Mother’s Day after Alex passed away I was devastated that I was not included in the Mother’s Day celebration at church that year. It wasn’t because I wasn’t considered a mother anymore (though that is what it felt like), but that no one knew how to treat me. Despite that, I was still happy for all of the mother’s that were celebrated that day. I agree with you. We need to make sure we celebrate parents as often as we can!
There is another way that parents lose child besides death. It can happen when kids choose to no longer be part of parents lives. Unlike death or not able to have a child, Mothers Day can be a reminder that a child chooses to not have a relationship with the parent . Consequently, it is a reminder of a precious relationship that has failed. Should we celebrate Mothers day? I say no.
I love the post.
Sir, I am so sorry for your situation. May God continue to comfort you.
I would say that it is foolish to not celebrate Mother’s Day, but to be, as you are in this piece, sensitive to the needs and sadness of those who don’t have children. Reaching out to folks more is the way to make things easier for those who are sad, while still celebrating God’s blessings on us all.
I must also say thank you, Morgan, for taking the time to show sympathy for those who suffer. When it comes to these issues, or other issue of children and childless, or married and single, so on; too many folks, sadly including Christians, are just apt to say something like, “It’s God’s will, so live with it.” Even when they are not that rude, their statement is essentially that, with absolute coldness and no empathy. God wants us to to thankful for our blessings, but to also comfort each other.
I think I wish we just “formally” only celebrated Jesus at church, not Veterans, Mothers, Fathers, etc. I think those people are good and special, and I certainly appreciate them personally, but just wish Sunday mornings of holidays were no different from other Sunday morning services. Sometimes, those special holidays are times when we really need reminders about what (Who) our lives are about and just basic encouragement to keep on in the race. I guess because I wasn’t raised in the church, it has always confused me about how big a deal Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is there.
Honestly, I have wept through many Father’s Day sermons. I have friends who grieve through Mother’s Day. What if church was one place where they could just focus on Jesus and get a break from some of that social pressure for a little bit?
I appreciate your idea about “weep with those who weep…” but I have always wondered how to be weeping with the grieving moms and be happy with the celebrating moms all in the time period of a Sunday morning service. I could see that verse applying one on one but how does it work with a whole roomful of women and their sum life experiences and feelings? Just touching on those ideas in a sermon?
Maybe there would be more unity if we just celebrated Jesus at church and not Jesus- and moms or Jesus- and dads? I don’t understand why that is so wrong. Its my sincere two cents and questions ‘cuz you asked 😉 I ‘ve honestly wondered about it since I started going to church but the only person I’ve ever talked about it with IRL is Bob. I feel safe enough to voice my honest thoughts and questions here though, Thank-you.
Amy, you are always welcome here. Thank you for adding your thoughts to the discussion 🙂
THANKS 🙂
I think it is a mistake to not celebrate these holidays, Ma’am. I sympathize with your pain. I can’t even remember how my dad sounded years back. He died when I was 16.
We are all members of the Bride of Christ, but as Paul points out, we are all DIFFERENT parts of that Bride. To not celebrate cultural, national, personal, etc., differences and holidays, is a mistake. God made us different, and it is those differences together in Christ that we celebrate when we pay heed to these holidays.
thank-you for your response.