In Darkness there is Light

I ran track and field in high school. Hurdles to be precise. I had this one coach who felt I had potential in the 300 meter hurdles. For those of you who don’t know much about track, its one of the most grueling races (in my opinon). You run almost a quarter mile as fast as you can—on your toes—while leaping over hurdles.

As you come around the curve and face the last 100 meters, you wonder how in all the world you’re going to make it to the finish line. You can barely breath, your calves burn, and you’re crying. Somewhere along the haze of pain you wonder why you didn’t chose some other sport, like tennis.

I am finding an editor is much like a coach. You work months and years to perfect your writing so that an editor will finally give your manuscript a second look and offer that coveted contract. But when the edits start coming, you wonder what he or she ever saw in your story.

What your editor saw… is potential. The skills are there, the story is great and it has a possible market. But the manuscript isn’t quite there, not yet.

So a good editor gets to work. And the newly contracted author wonders why she didn’t take up knitting instead .

I am now entering the last phase of edits. It’s been hard. Really hard. But I have also learned a lot of good stuff. My editor has pushed me, helped me, and encouraged me. He knows I can do it (even when I’ve despaired). He’s a good coach. And for that, I am thankful.

*I originally posted this article at Hoosier Ink.

Posted in Personal, Writing
Tags: Coaching, Editors, Writing

Next week is my 12th anniversary. A lot has happened since I said “I do”. If you had told me all the crazy things that would happen over the next few years, I wouldn’t have believed you. Actually, if you had told me that I would marry Dan, I wouldn’t have believed you either .

It’s been a faith filled roller coaster with high highs and low lows. But not once have I regretted marrying Dan. We have so many stories to tell, so many experiences shared, so many tears, hugs and kisses. Here are a few:

2000- Remember Y2K? Dan and I were pretty happy to see the world still here after midnight. Two weeks later we were married and spent an amazing honeymoon at Disneyworld (you didn’t really think we would go to some tropical place, did you?)

2001- We packed up and headed down to Texas so Dan could go to seminary, the first of our many adventures.

2002- Surprise! We found out in January that I was pregnant. Not something we had planned during seminary. So glad God gave us Philip, though .

2003- Moved to Walla Walla Washington. Yes, it really does exist. Dan started his first job as a pastor and I started learning what it meant to be a pastor’s wife.

2004- Along came Katy, our wonderful adventurous tomboy princess.

2005- Moved to Portland. Found out the last week in December that we would be having twins.

2006- There is nothing like looking like a whale (and feeling like one) during the hottest day on record for Portland. Dan bought a window air conditioner for me to sit by until I could go to the hospital (they turned me away the day I was due, so I ended up waiting two more days). At least I can say I had one of the biggest twins my OB GYN had ever delivered: 8lb boy .

2007- Dan was laid off and so we moved into my mother’s basement.

Picture Dan took during sunset in Bandon

2008- Another move, this time to the Oregon coast. One of the most beautiful places I have ever lived.

2009- Celebrated an early 10^th anniversary by going to Hawaii. That was fun!

2010- Moved again, this time to Indiana. I never thought we would move so much! But one thing Dan and I learned through each move is that God is with us and will take care of us.

2011- Dan lost his job. Remember those marriage vows? Rich or poor, in sickness an in health. Despite all darkness going on around us, we clung to God and each other.

2012- This year is yet to be written

Do Dan and I have a perfect marriage? No! In fact, I think I can safely say that without God, our marriage would be in shambles. Or to be more honest, we would never have married. We are very different people. But we both want to follow God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. And by following God, we draw closer together. Because of Jesus we can forgive each other, love despite the cost, and find hope when life turns dark.

What’s next? Looking at our past twelve years, I’m afraid to guess. But I’m also excited. I have a wonderful partner in Dan and a God who’s leading our lives.

Posted in Personal
Tags: Anniversary, Dan Busse, Marriage, Morgan Busse

It was interesting to read my blog entry for January 1^st, 2011 (here). Had I known what 2011 held, I would have given it back and probably asked for a better year. I saw death and I saw job loss. I faced days full of darkness and pain. I cried more this year than all the years before combined. 2011 was the darkest year so far in my life.

But the light of hope still shone, even when I could not see it. God provided for my family. He was patient with me as I wrestled with all the darkness both inside me and out. He brought friends that stood by us and helped us.

God never let go of me.

I now stand on the brink of 2012. What is this year going to bring? I know a couple things already. It will bring the fruition of 8 years of writing: my first book. It will bring the much-anticipated birth for a friend of mine. It will bring change as Dan and I move on with our lives to the next ministry God takes us to.

But those are only hazy glimpses. In the end, we do not know the future. And I’m glad. I would worry way too much . Instead, I know the one who holds the future. And I’m learning to trust in Him.

Posted in Personal
Tags: 2012, future, God

Elves and dragons. I don’t think you can get any more fantasy than that. Divine Summons by Rebecca P. Minor is the first book in a series she first wrote for the ezine Digital Dragons. The story follows a military captain of the Elven Nation. A sacred relic of the elves is stolen. And Vinyanel Ecleriast must find it.

During his journey he comes across a half-elven priestess of Creo and a dragon. Creo has chose Vinyanel to become the first windrider, a rider of dragons. Between exchanging snarky words with the priestess Veranna and learning to ride Majestrin, Vinyanel has his work cut out for him. Lucky for him, Creo holds his destiny in his hand.

I’m not very fond of books written in first person, especially from the male point of view (nothing against men!). However, I really enjoyed Divine Summons. I liked Vinyanel. He’s a no nonsense, get the job done kind of elf. But he still has a lot to learn, including some humility. Veranna got on my nerves a bit, but I wonder if that’s because I was seeing her through Vinyanel’s eyes (she got on his nerves too).

I like how Rebecca created Majestrin to be uniquely different than most dragons I read about. Instead of breathing fire, he breaths ice. Very cool!

Overall, if you enjoy traditional fantasy stories, I recommend Divine Summons. And after you read that, check out the next in the series, A Greater Strength.

To find out more about Becky P. Minor, visit her website at http://callofthecreator.blogspot.com/

Posted in Book Reviews
Tags: Divine Summons, Dragons, Elves, Rebecca P. Minor

I have a post up at Hoosier Ink today. I talk about how I need God with the pressures I face as a writer. http://hoosierink.blogspot.com/2011/12/god.html

Posted in Writing
Tags: God, Hoosier Ink, Writing

I love fairytales. Magic, young women, knights in shining armor, dragons, you name it, I love it all. So when I heard about Melanie Dickerson’s books about fairytales set during the medieval time period, I had to read them. Her first book came out about a year ago, The Healer’s Apprentice (a retelling of the Sleeping Beauty story). I loved the book and wrote up a review about it (click here to read my review).

About a month ago, I received Melanie’s next book, The Merchant’s Daughter. This time she wrote about the Beauty and the Beast story set during early England. I love how she incorporates real history into her stories as if to show how these stories could have happened.

The Merchant’s Daughter follows Annabel, the youngest daughter of a merchant. Her family is too proud to do their share of feudal field work. Instead, they choose to pay for their portion. But when the family ships sink during a storm and the father dies, they owe a lot of gold to the new feudal lord, a badly disfigured young man.

Annabel is different from the rest of her family (kind, humble, the usual fairytale girl), so to help her family with this debt, she indentures herself to the young feudal lord to serve as his servant for 2 years.

You can see the Beauty and the Beast story woven throughout The Merchant’s Daughter. But Melanie’s special twist is to tell it as if it were historically accurate. There are no magical cups and candelabras, no singing, no enchanted rose. Instead, it’s the story of a young man with a bitter past and a scarred face who falls in love with a selfless young woman.

I highly recommend The Merchant’s Daughter and can’t wait to see what fairytale retellings Melanie Dickerson comes up with next .

*I received an ARC copy of this book to review.

Posted in Book Reviews
Tags: Beauty and The Beast, Fairytales, Melanie Dickerson, The Merchant's Daughter

2011 has been a hard year for my family. So when Thanksgiving rolled around, it was difficult at first to get past all the bad things to see the good. But as soon as I started, it was like a thousands lights filling my soul. I realized that despite circumstances, God has given me so much to be thankful for.

Picture of my family

First, I am thankful for my family. Three years ago, on the morning after Thanksgiving, my youngest son almost died. During that frantic car ride to the hospital, I believe he did. But God had compassion on my family and gave us Caleb back. We were shipped from hospital to hospital until Caleb and I were life-flighted up to Portland. None of the doctors could explain why our son went from healthy to dying in 12 hours. I don’t think we will ever know. But every time I looked at my son’s face, I am so thankful God let that little boy live. And not just Caleb, I am thankful for all my family. We are healthy and we are together.

Secondly, I am thankful for a home, food, and clothes. For the last couple months, Dan has been without a job. It has not been easy. But God has taken care of our every need. We still have a roof over our head. We have food to eat. We have clothes. We had a family give us a dryer when ours went out and we could not afford to get it fixed. We had someone else give us money to help get tires for our van (they were getting threadbare). I am thankful to God for meeting our needs.

On that note, I am thankful for my job. It came just when we needed it most. Through my job I have been able to help my family. Its also nice to have a job that I like going to every day. I hope someday to be back home, but working outside the home has given me a greater appreciation for what I had before and for those women who don’t have a choice but to work. Its hard to have a foot in both worlds, trust me, I know!

Most people never live to see a dream fulfilled, but this year I saw mine. At the end of July I signed my very first book contract. And not only that, but I signed with the publishing company I wanted, Marcher Lord Press. My first book, Daughter of Light, will release Spring 2012. That is definitely something to be thankful for .

Early this year, Dan and I met a couple who became very dear friends to us. They have prayed for us, cried with us, and helped us during this dark time in our lives. That and they are as geeky as we are (and play a mean hand of cards ). I am thankful for friends who when the storm clouds come, they stand right beside you.

I am also thankful for my husband Dan. He is a man of integrity, respect, and love; a man I am not ashamed to lift up before my children as an example to follow. No, he’s not perfect (trust me, I live with the guy), but I couldn’t have asked for a better companion in life. God blessed me when He brought Dan into my life.

Lastly, I am thankful for God. I do not list him last because he is least important on my thankful list, but rather because God is the one that holds everything I am and am thankful for. Without him, the rest of my list would not exist. He is the Light in my Darkness, my Defender, my Hope when all hope is gone, and the only One who could save my soul. Why God loves me with all the ick that dwells inside of me I will never know. But He does. And I am so thankful for that.

Posted in Personal
Tags: Family, God, Morgan L. Busse, Thanksgiving

Rosie’s life began as an abandoned kitten. She and her sister were found in front of a store, tiny and alone. Her sister had been hit by a car and had a broken leg. My friend found the two kittens and took them to the vet. There they received care for their wounds. Afterward, my friend took them home, provided them with food and began to look for a home for them.

At that time, Dan and I had begun looking for a cat for our home (I am a cat lover and firmly believe no house is complete without a purring machine ). Months before we had to put down a kitten we had adopted. Tiger left a huge hole in our hearts, which we were now ready to fill. When I read Rosie’s story, I contacted my friend and said we would take the kitten.

Rosie came home and was immediately showered with love. Our dogs loved the feisty little puffball (they would actually sleep with her). She had toys, food, fresh litterbox, and any bed she wanted in the entire house. As I watched her play in the living room one day, I realized something: Rosie has no idea the life she was saved from. And neither do we.

Rosie was born a street cat. She was abandoned and left on the side of the road. Her life, if my friend and my family had not intervened, would have consisted of disease, hunger, and early death. But Rosie doesn’t know this. Even if I were able to speak cat language and tell her what she was saved from, she wouldn’t be able to comprehend this. She has a wonderful, loving family, plenty of food, and a place to lay in the sunshine.

In the same we, I don’t think we understand the life we have been saved from by God’s grace. Like abandoned children who lived in darkness, God came and rescued us. He bandaged our wounds, gave us hope, and brought light into our lives. Does that mean our lives are easy when we choose to follow God? No. But we have a loving Father who provides for our needs, watches over us, and will never leave us.

Funny how God uses small things like the life of an abandoned kitten to teach me about Himself .

Posted in God's Character, Personal
Tags: God's Salvation, Grace

I like answers. I want to know why something works, what happens when you do X, and how can I get the best outcome. I tend to get to the point, whether it has to do with work, solving a problem, or with relationships (about drove my husband mad with this early on ). So when life doesn’t compute, I want answers.

Unfortunately, sometimes there are no answers to why things happen.

I struggled with this over the past year. Most of the time I can find an explanation on why God allows something to happen. You know, the usual answers: to grow us, to prepare us for a greater blessing, fill in the blank. But none of those answers seemed sufficient for the pain and tears shed over the last several months. I wanted to know why. I wanted a reason so I could close those doors, heal, and move on.

Did God let Dan lose his job because He has something better planned? Why did it feel God was leading us to church plant, to then not have it work out? Why do bad things happen to people who want to follow God’s plan?

I will admit this past year shook my faith down to its very core. I could feel the darkness closing in on me. I cried out to God, but couldn’t seem to hear Him. I felt alone and cold spiritually.

Now some people will say you should never question God. I believe its better to be honest with God. David was honest with God in the Psalms. Jeremiah the prophet was honest with God. God knows my heart and can see the hurt and confusion already inside. Through honesty comes truth. And with truth comes answers.

A couple weeks ago, I had my answer: that sometimes there are no answers. I could feel in my heart that God had been patient with me, but it had come to the point that I needed to let go; I would not have the answers to why things happened the way they did this year. Why? Because God is God and I am me.

In that moment, I caught an awe and terrifying glimpse of God. We, or at least I, forget how much bigger, how much smarter, how much more God knows than I do. He is running this entire universe, watching over lives, creating divine intersections, moving things along on a scale that I can’t even comprehend. So when He says that all things work together for good, even if I can’t see it, He does, and I need to trust that. So I let go.

I may have my answers someday, perhaps in heaven. But I have a feeling that by then, I’m not going to care. Why? I’ll finally be in God’s presence and that will be all I need.

Posted in Christian Life, Personal
Tags: Answers, Answers to Prayer, God, Life